I loved this post, and even I’m not 23 like the writer, but far away 🙂 I connected with many of her perspectives… I recommend to read this!
Author: Carla Doria
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When you wished your dog could talk…
Two days ago, we took our beloved girl, Dana, a golden retriever, to the vet for surgery. She had developed a tumor in her chest and we were told that it needed to be removed before it grew too much and went inside her body to attack other organs. My girl behaved heavenly all the time, as always, but I was disheartened when I saw her scar, it was huge, and could only tell how much pain she was on after the surgery. Besides, the anesthesia did a number on her, when we brought her home, more than 8 hours passed before she could actually sit down, but couldn´t walk yet. I was concerned that she couldn´t walk and wanted to pee but couldn´t. It was the first time where I felt impotent, and couldn´t avoid to look into her eyes and beg that I wish she could talk, so I knew exactly if she wanted to pee, if she was in too much pain, etc. Fortunately, she managed to get on her feet and pee. She was still walking dizzily.
I really hated myself for putting her through so much pain and promised her that I would never do that again. This is her second surgery, she had another tumor extracted before, but this time it was too hard on her. According to the vet it´s because of her age, she´s nine, but I feel these problems are just taking a huge take on her. Through her eyes, I felt as if she was trying to tell me: Why are you doing this to me again? And I really couldn´t help but to feel miserable.
People´s eyes are supposed to be their windows to their souls (I don´t remember who said this, sorry), but this also happens on animals, and so intensively on dogs. Her eyes were so full of feelings, pain, and still so much love, I wonder if humans are able to ever express those eyes. And when we exchange looks with my girl, I can´t help but to feel terrified of losing her…
This post may seem a little bit different from others, but I just felt I needed to write it.
And you, how do you feel regarding your beloved pets?
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Being the real ‘you’ and not the invented one…
I´ve never been more devoted to being myself. Unfortunately, this has brought me lot of disadvantages and one of them is to be a loner.
Few years ago, I was a complete different image from what I am now. Surrounded by friends, always with social activities, going to clubs, etc. Now I´m not a fifth of what I used to be in those years. I had my years of fun, getting drunk, and the regular things people do when they are young. But now, I don´t do that anymore, and I´m still young! But I don´t do it for one simple reason: it wasn´t me, it´s not me, and will never be me.
Image source: www.glavo.net
But how do I know that I am better now than I was before?
Because…
Because if you had asked me before in those years, if I was totally happy with the way I was living my life, if I was doing what I always wanted to do, If I could feel that I could already die without regrets, mmm… the answer would had been a mess, it would had depended on the day I was, If it was a good day I would say, geez…I don´t know, if it was a bad day I would have started crying for sure.
If you ask me that now, good or bad day, I would say yes: I´m happy and I´m living the life I always wanted to live. Period.
The reason – I have accepted who I am: the bookworm, the girl who loves classical music and dislikes most trendy music, the nerd, the geek, the writer.
Image source: www.lightsburning.com
I´ve been wondering why so many friends have grown so distant from me. My best friends are still there but it is not the same anymore, and it won´t ever be, because I´m not what I used to be. I´ve become too boring for them.
However, there is always this “however” in my posts. I don´t regret anything because for the first time I’m being myself and nothing else, not what others want me to be, not what family wants me to be, not what I think I should be in order to mingle with others. That´s the challenge, and I´m on my way to achieving it, how many people can say that?
No matter, how people around us think, what our society waits from us, how do we think we should be, the only ever existent challenge is to be ourselves and nothing more. And if the so called friends don’t like the truly me, then maybe it is time for letting them go and let other people come in, but without ever thinking in changing again.
And you, how truly are you? Have you invented and ´ideal you´ or are you just being the way you are meant to be, the REAL you?
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