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Tag: self help

  • The myths of daydreaming

    Looking back: The Daydreaming years

    On 2013, more than ten years ago, I wrote a post titled Why daydreaming with open eyes is actually good… Looking back, it serves as a good example of how people can change over the time. This change isn’t about core values, which should remain steady in a person, but rather about one’s approach to life.

    Back then in this post, I fully embraced the time that I spent daydreaming. I remember it very vividly when I used to daydream constantly. At that time, I had a job with a lot free time. My daily commute gave me plenty of moments to reflect. I had time to lie back, relax and just daydream.

    I imagined endless possibilities: what if I had chosen a different career? What if I had been born in a richer family? What if I had the looks of a model? What if I had been born in a different country? What if I had had blue eyes? Then came the future what ifs: If I win the lottery, I would by this and that. If I traveled around the world, I would visit these places. If I had kids, I’d raised them like this. If I become a famous writer, I would do this and that. You get the idea.

    An image depicting a woman sitting in a swing thinking, daydreaming

    I think most of us have gone through a phase like this at some point in our lives. I might indulge in daydreaming occasionally, but now it’s rare. I no longer see it as a good thing. I don’t need to reimagine the what ifs of the past because I understand I can’t change that past anymore. I don’t spend time imagining the what ifs of the future because I know that the only way to make those happen is to through action.

    The Shift: From dreaming to Doing

    I’ve changed a lot. I was a daydreamer but also a big procrastinator. Looking back, I would even call myself a lazy person back then. Those were the years in my life when I dreamed a lot but accomplished little. Now, I stay highly active. I no longer procrastinate and dedicate my time to multiple projects.

    I organize a local WordPress community and participate in a Toastmaster club where I give speeches. I run four blogs and I’m currently taking at least two courses on Coursera. At any given time, I’m learning at least one new software. I manage two YouTube channels where I produce and create my own content, I’m studying German. Beyond that, I have a goal of reading at least three books per month and I try to dedicate some time to learning how to draw and paint.

    scrabble blocks that say If not now, when

    Most importantly, I have one finished manuscript that I’m currently seeking for representation and I’m working on the translation of a previous one. It sounds like too many activities going on, but I feel happy because they lead me to where I want to be. I know I’m working on most of my goals.

    A new Mindset: Action over Daydreaming

    Do I have time to daydream? Barely. Do I think it is good? Not so much. Rather than aimless daydreaming, I think it is best to visualize your goals and dedicate time to do all the steps and tasks that you need to achieve them.

    People change. They do a lot. A decade ago, I often felt sad and unmotivated. Now, I have a completely approach to life. People can improve and it’s not related to the people and circumstances that surround you. It comes from maturity and the drive to improve.


  • About the Last Families

    “The Last Families” is the title that I decided to give my fantasy novel. This is the first piece of fantasy I have ever tried to write. Since I didn’t feel confident to do the research required to place my story in a specific location, I decided to give the fantasy genre a shot. I soon realized that I felt comfortable with creating my own world.

    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    After doing some research, my story falls in the category of “high-fantasy”. The definition of high fantasy, according to Wikipedia is:

    High fantasy is set in an alternative, fictional (“secondary”) world, rather than the “real” or “primary” world.[2] This secondary world is usually internally consistent, but its rules differ from those of the primary world. By contrast, low fantasy is characterized by being set in earth, the primary or real world, or a rational and familiar fictional world with the inclusion of magical elements.

    After giving the warning of being high-fantasy, let me tell a bit more about my story:

    The last continent left on earth is perishing. Escaping through the earth’s core, the last families have reached Gambir. The island’s scorching hot sun and shores that can suck boats into a deep abyss are only some minor dangers compared to its inhabitants.

    Characterized by purple, white, green, and red hair and unmistakable eye colors, each family has unique physiologies. Ninfire women can not only get pregnant in their eighties but also fly. Drontas twins die when their sibling does in spite of the family’s unnatural force. The green family, the Kaptarish, can burn anything they touch with their hands while the Verbaren– composed of only cousins since women can only have one child -used to read minds. 

    The apparent leader of Gambir, Ian, has set eyes on Yarisha Verbaren – the only mind-reader of the Verbaren family. But the young girl has developed feelings for Malakay, the most arrogant sibling in the Ninfire family. She knows the young man’s mother and the matriarch of the Ninfires, Mandely, will never consent to this relationship since she considers the Verbaren family to be inferior. 

    Meanwhile, trying to seek refuge and build a good relationship with the island’s inhabitants, Marquesh, the patriarch of the Drontas family will need to leave his wife in order to protect his children. He will get help from Palista, the old Kaptarish family matriarch. What he doesn’t know is that the old woman hides a secret and that she must hurry to pass her leadership skills to her grandson. 

    Soon these families will find out that skin color could determine their survival. In their quest to escape, they will uncover who is really in charge in Gambir, and learn not only from this island, but also from their inner personal strengths. 

    As you probably noticed, this summary has been extracted from my query letter. It is hard to summarize the story but I’m happy to talk a bit more about it in other posts.

    Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

    Since I decided on self-publishing, I’m planning to set up a website for the book. A friend of mine is helping with some illustrations and they are looking fantastic so far. I’m looking forward to showing them in a next post as I delve myself into this process of self-publishing. I hope that my experience in this process will be somehow helpful to others.

    What do you think of the premise of my fantasy story? I would like to hear some impressions

  • When you land the job of your dreams…

    Wow, only writing this title was an amazing experience. All writers must work, there’s no doubt about that (unless you land a big publishing contract that could only come after decades of experience 🙂 ) But wouldn’t it be great to make your writing journey while you have one of the best jobs ever? I’m still so thrilled that I don’t know if I’ll be able to pull off this post or not.

    It was really hard. It was Not one of those jobs where you apply, you get an interview and voilá you got the job. It was hard work and nothing else, and this makes this experience so rewarding because you know you fought for it; the results are only about perseverance and never giving up. It’s about being stronger than you believe. It’s about knowing you really did your best. That’s why this is the best job ever. A job where you get to help people, a job where you get to learn every single day, a job where you get to prove yourself every single day, a job where you can contribute, a job where you can grow endlessly, what else could you want?

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    Writing is one of my passions! And I will continue writing because it’s in my nature, and I cannot imagine myself living without writing, but when you have a job that makes your day happy every single day, then writing time is definitely going to be the best!

    And for all those wondering, what job is this? I’ll get you the details in a next post 🙂

     

     

  • TED Talk: Why you will fail to have a career?

    Loved this talk! For all of you who still hadn’t found out your passion or know what is your passion but are too afraid to pursuit, then this is the talk for you!

    Actually, this is the talk for all the people who want to have a goal in life and achieve it!

    Professor Larry Smiths presents, in quite a peculiar way, a talk that changes lives and inspires. He is a professor of economics at University of Waterloo. A well-known storyteller and advocate for youth leadership, he has also mentored many of his students on start-up business management and career development. The most notable start-up he advised in its infancy is Research in Motion (RIM), maker of the BlackBerry.

    Invest 15 minutes in this talk and it will be an investment for life!

    [ted id=1384]

     

  • The TED talk all women should see

    I try to start my workday with a TED talk. I wish I could say I do this daily, but sometimes I can’t. I usually do it when my work energy level is low or when I feel I need motivation to go with the work routine. Today I came across with “Why do ambitious women have flat heads?” by Dame Stephanie Shirley.  The title was enough to call my attention since sometimes when the talk’s title is too predictable, I might just pass it. But this one wasn’t and I’m glad I clicked it.

    Dame Stephanie Shirley had it rough. She was one of the Jewish kids saved by being sent to families in northern England during the Second World War . She grew up in an era where women’s only objective was to get married and have kids. There were scarce work opportunities for them. I work in the software industry. Women in the 60’s didn’t just pursuit that area at all. But one woman did it. And this terrific woman showed nothing is impossible. Yes, there was a programming market in that era, believe it or not. If you want to know exactly how it worked, then you have to check the video.

    Stephanie Shirley went through all the fights my generation didn’t have too. My generation won’t suffer that gender discrimination again. We have it easy. And what are we doing with our lives? We don’t aim high enough. We don’t dream big enough. We don’t do the fights for the next generations.

    I invite you to watch the following TED talk (only 13 minutes of your time but worth your life change).

    [ted id=2223]

  • Can you write comedy?

    The best moments when I read a book is when I find myself laughing due to the author’s wit and good sense of humor. As I hear my laugh echoing through the room where I read, without any apparent reason, I feel lucky to be enjoying something “secret” or “hidden” that people around me in public spaces won’t probably never get to know. I get to enjoy characters only to myself which (in a selfish manner) I don’t get to share with those around me. Those are the times when I mostly appreciate good humour in Literature, either intended or not.

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    After enjoying these moments, I find myself wanting to write as these authors. I want people to enjoy my stories as I do when I read others. But then I ask myself, could I ever write a comedy? It’s hard enough to come up with one witty remark, never mind the entire length of a comedy-based novel. I’m pretty sure those who achieve writing in the “comedy” genre can be named genius. Maybe some writers are born to write in this genre. Maybe only people like comedians are the ones who should answer this call.

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    No more than a week ago, I started my first “comedy genre” book. For those curious about the title, I’m reading Timur Vermes “Look who’s back” which had a book cover that promised to deliver “a comedy of all sorts”,”clever, funny,” book and so on. Please, don’t go into questioning my book selection. I know the book has become controversial, so I won’t go into discussing why I’m reading this book. Just let me tell you, that I’m reading it with an open mind and in the effort to understand more about this literature genre . But as far as I gotten into the book (one-third of its lenght ), I haven’t laughed much. Is it because I don’t understand the book’s sense of humour? Maybe the fun style has been lost in translation (the book has been translated from German) But if this is not the case, and if different people react different to diverse styles of comedy, then how can you write a fun, clever book that appeals to a vast majority? Is there a secret, hidden recipe somewhere to tackle all funny bones in the whole population?

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    If it weren’t possible , the comedy genre wouldn’t prevail. I don’t believe there’s a successful formula. But I might have detected one possible self-barrier. Whenever I come up with a funny remark while writing, I usually erase it almost immediately, afraid it will sound stupid or even insulting to some people. Without noticing, an internal judging voice makes me consider any funny statement. And I bet most writers face this challenge. Writing comedy is for the brave, for the ones that laugh at life, at oneself, and don’t care much about criticism . They don’t care if people don’t laugh; they are aware not all of them will do. But they still go out there.
    By not laughing at Vermes’ book, does it make me a different person to please? Does that make me a writer with more difficulties to write comedy?

    Lastly, I would like to leave you with Chris O’Dowd’s quote:

    quote-Chris-ODowd-comedy-writing-is-taking-the-brief-thought-135708_2

    And you, how do you go about writing funny remarks or comedy?

  • Getting rid of the multi-tasking habits

    Last post When old habits are hard to abandon… I’m looking at you procrastination was eye opening. For some reason, I always believed that being “multi-tasker” was engraved in my system. I even felt proud of it. I could face many tasks at work or while writing without any problems. I even used as one of my qualities (whenever I needed to talk about myself, my strengths,etc… case point: CVs). This happened until many days ago, when for some miracle, I landed on the Coursera course: Learning how to learn: Powerful mental tools to help you master tough subjects. If you ever have time to check this free online course (which you could also pay if you want a certification), then do it. The course suggestion came to my email inbox the same day I wrote about my procrastination/multi-tasker post. And surprise, surprise: It turns out being multi-tasker is not as good I as thought it was. In fact, it’s not good at all.

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    I’m not going to go into specifics in the course. Besides, I still have a couple of lessons that I still need to go through in this course. But so far, it’s been one of the best courses I’ve taken through this platform. Going straight to the point: multi-tasking only burns you out, it stresses you, it makes you slower, it lowers the quality of your work, and tires you faster. But it can be changed. And since I’ve started this new plan to reprogram my brain from its default multi-tasking mode or even close to some sort of attention deficit disorder, my capacity to focus and concentrate has grown exponentially. My writing tasks are back on track again and with good perspectives!

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    There are tons of courses, methodologies, articles online about this topic. Many great sources of information. If you’re looking to get rid of procrastination, improve the quality of time you spent on your important tasks (writing, I’m looking at you), then I suggest you get rid of any multi-tasking habits. I’m looking forward to polishing these skills, and maybe in some weeks time, to be able to say I finally left procrastination in the past.

  • When old habits are hard to abandon… I’m looking at you Procrastination!

    Procrastination has been affecting my life since I can remember. Fortunately, these last couple of years, I’ve been suffering less of it or else I would’ve never achieved a novel’s first draft (it should be treated as an illness!). But I haven’t gone over it yet. I might now put a daily effort on my writer goals, but it’s not enough yet.

    The one to blame, the Internet.

    I could use the computer and disconnect, but I depend heavily on thesaurus.com I could get a physical copy, but certainly working with the website allows me to easily navigate from word to word’s synonyms and definitions in a matter of seconds, without losing the inspiration or the sentence idea that troubles my mind at that point. I’ve tried using printed copies of dictionaries and thesaurus, but they’re not meant to be used on every single minute. And yes, I still use it a lot. Especially, since English is not my first language, many times I just want to make sure I got the correct definition and that the synonym I’m choosing to use is accurate.

    So if thesaurus.com wasn’t such a good tool and as dependent on internet connectivity as it is, I would probably disconnect from Wi-Fi. But if this website helps my writing, what is the real problem?

    My mind is used to multi-tasking. As a result, thoughts, ideas, and hyperactivity flood my brain almost 24/7 (If mental hyperactivity could be translated into physical hyperactivity… I would be the best athlete in the world… but that’s another topic). My mind doesn’t really switch off until I go to bed. And sometimes, I find trouble sleeping trying to unplug my mind from its endless ideas, worries, etc. So while writing, it’s normal for me to get distracted by other websites; afraid (maybe an excuse word) that I will forget later what I wanted to buy in Ebay, that I will miss what’s going on Facebook, and that there are still tips, blogs, and websites I should be looking at for my next trip (in 2 weeks – Tripadvisor, I’m looking at you!),  I open the browser and proceed to search, look, and verify other issues while in the middle of writing.

    The result: guilt invading me at around 10:00 pm when my eyes are starting to feel the burden of the day and I have to choose between:

    • Giving up and going to bed
    • Continue the writing until almost midnight or until my eyes are hyper red. The direct consequence: I cannot invest any more reading time in bed if I want to give my eyes a proper resting (after all, I spend the whole day in front of the computer)

    Maybe I’m too anxious for vacations these days, and I cannot move forward without taking out of my mind all the issues that should be arranged or known before traveling. Maybe after my holidays, my mind will be clear enough to continue working. But who am I kidding? There will always be a next trip, a next activity, or a next excuse. If I’m going to take the writing career for good, then I’d better eliminate the word Procrastination from my vocabulary. Any advice?

     

     

  • Guest Interview: Stuart J. Whitmore

    There are few short stories that I wish had been turned into a novel; No Fanfare by Stuart J. Whitmore is one of those short stories that I wish had been longer. This fantastic well-told story  presents us a topic with so many questions that leaves readers wondering about the endless possibilities. But Stuart not only writes short stories, he’s also written novels and non-fiction. I was lucky enough to interview this talented author and I’m certain his answers will inspire many aspiring writers.

    – Tell us a bit about yourself. For instance, how did you start writing?

    My interest in writing was mostly sparked by winning first prize in a classroom writing contest when I was about eight years old. The prize was $2.00 in cash, which (adjusted for inflation) would be about $10 in today’s dollars. I’m not sure whether the prize or the teacher’s praise mattered more at the time, but I see that as the start of my writing. I wrote my first full-length novel (first draft) when I was 14-15 years old, and another when I was 16-17 years old. I put my writing on hold for awhile to pursue a non-writing career and start a family, but NaNoWriMo helped bring me back to it.

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    – How did you come up with the story idea for “No Fanfare”? Would you consider writing more about this topic and even turning it into a novel?

    I like to play around with “what if” questions and see what stories I can generate from various answers. Just this morning I wondered, “what if cats could smell memories?” I give full credit for that strange question to the strange behavior of our cat! While I don’t remember the specifics, I’m fairly sure No Fanfare started in a similar way. What if someone was sent on a secret mission to another planet, and then everybody forgot he was there? (Or, what if someone thought that had happened to them, even if it hadn’t?) I also have a long-term interest in Mars exploration and colonization, which previously inspired my children’s book (Two Boys, Two Planets).

    I haven’t given any thought to writing more to the story. It was always intended as a vignette focused on the initial “homecoming” experience. I tried to offer enough uncertainty that the reader might wonder what to believe. On the other hand, I realize that some readers prefer a more concrete resolution, so I might someday write a follow-up to No Fanfare.

    http://www.amazon.com/No-Fanfare-Stuart-J-Whitmore-ebook/dp/B014CI5QQ8/ref=la_B0058E4TDC_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1456841206&sr=1-9518kfTEkBsL._SX384_BO1,204,203,200_

    – What do you enjoy most, writing short stories or novels? Do you write short stories with the idea they’ll become short stories or do you usually decide this during the writing process?

    Short stories are fun to write, but I love writing long, complex novels. I love all of the world- and character-building that I can do with longer works. Usually when I write a short story I intend for it to be short, although sometimes I’ll start a story without a particular goal for how long it will turn out. With short stories I often want to get a reader to start imagining things about the story I’ve started, with the hope they’ll enjoy filling out their own ending, but sometimes I get in trouble for leaving things unanswered!

    – What is you ideal place for writing? Do you have a special process to get inspired or get in the writing mood?

    I’m very flexible about my writing. I’ve written on public transit, in doctor and dentist waiting rooms, on a bench in a busy shopping mall, as well as quietly at my desk at home. Some writers develop a process to get in the mood for writing, and I often tell myself I should try that, but I never seem to get around to it.

    – Besides the Dan Starney series, are you looking to work on another novel?

    With luck, I’ll be releasing several more novels this year, as well as some novellas. I have four fantasy novels that are shaping up nicely, plus I have a detailed outline (rare for me) for a novel in a different genre, and a concept for a novella series in yet another genre. This year I’m exploring the use of pen names to keep the different genre works separated, although my fantasy novels will still be under my own name. I also plan to write a third book in the Dan Starney series to wrap up that storyline, although I don’t have a timeframe for when that will be released.

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    – You also write non-fiction, what topics do you most enjoy writing about? What differences do you find between writing fiction and non-fiction?

    So far my non-fiction writings have been fairly short dabblings in topics, and I haven’t found one where I feel comfortable yet. I like to be able to share information and ideas with people, things that can be useful in the real world, which is the appeal for me in non-fiction. I finder greater joy in writing fiction, but that is perhaps because it is a lot like daydreaming for me, and I am an incorrigible dreamer.

    – What would you recommend aspiring writers? Any tips or writing recommendations?

    One of the biggest obstacles that I see in aspiring writers is getting past the “I’m going to” stage and actually doing. While I enjoy talking about writing as much as anyone, being a writer means actually doing the writing too. There are many ways for people to start writing, whether it is fiction or non-fiction, and I would encourage aspiring writers to seek out those opportunities — contests, anthologies, sites like Wattpad, etc. — and start producing words. This is especially useful if it is done in a way where complete strangers can read those writings. Reactions from people outside of family and close friends can help highlight what works and what doesn’t. To develop as a writer, it is important to learn about writing and read what others have written, but it is even more important to just write, write, write!

    For more information about Stuart J. Whitmore:

    Website: http://www.stuartwhitmoreauthor.com/
    Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5623681.Stuart_J_Whitmore
    Google + https://plus.google.com/+StuartWhitmore
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Crenel
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StuartWhitmoreAuthor
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stuart_whitmore_author/
    Snapchat: stuart_whitmore

  • Weirdness: Embracing it…

    I always describe myself as “weird”. People around me hear “bicho raro” an expression in Spanish that would mean something like “weird bug.” Some friends are fast to point out that I’m not weird but “unique”. I appreciate their good intetions, but I actually don’t feel bad about being weird. I love being weird. I embrace my weirdness.

    So what do I mean by being weird? I thought it would be to check up the exact definition of the word:

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/weird  says: involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny. fantastic; bizarre.

    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/weird says: Strikingly odd or unusual, especially in an unsettling way; strange. Suggestive of the supernatural.

    But I like the definition of the Merriam-Webster: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weird  :

    1. of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural :  magical

    2. 2:  of strange or extraordinary character:  odd, fantastic

    And I’m almost sure the latter is the best reputable source as well.

    When reading the first two definitions, one would see why people react to the word “weird” as a bad adjective. This word for them describes something  not very nice – an “unsettling” word. The expression “weirdo” is a commonly expression used to tag people in a despicable way. However, I insist on relying on the Merriam-Webster definition: “supernatural, extraordinary, fantastic, unusual… etc.” In this interpretation, I love the word; it describes how my usual perspective towards life is.

    I always like to believe I don’t fit social standards as normally other people do. I love going against the trends and against the expected behaviors. Even the way I dress, reflects in some way, who  I am as a person. And if people expect you to celebrate a holiday, I do exactly the opposite. But for me this weirdness is not about being stubborn or trying to make a point, it’s only about behaving according to my feelings and without regard to social expectations. For me being weird is nice. It’s about expressing myself in the most extraordinary fashion, living my life defying any social foolish conceptions. It would be nice for a change people wouldn’t chastise or try to fix weird people.

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