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Tag: self help

  • The reasons of being lonely….

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    Image source: micuadernitoverde.blogspot.com

    The last posts I´ve been writing about inspirational and self-improvement topics, or at least that´s what I was trying to do, and I actually have managed to evade the “happy loner” topic for a time…

    I´ve always told myself what a happy loner I am , and I am, really, but sometimes I can´t help but to question myself “why I am a loner”. I actually get this question many times from people that surround me.  I´m 32 and most people that I know are either married, getting married or in a happy relationship. Don´t take me wrong, I´m not against of relationships, but in some way I feel that I´m not ready yet….as silly as it sounds.

    I´m so focused in achieving the life of my dreams, of doing the things that I´ve always wanted to do, that I actually feel that I couldn´t do good in a relationship. I would have to achieve at least a part of the goals that I´m trying to achieve right now. It´s like needing to find myself before sharing my life with another being….

    For instance, I´m not ready yet to settle down and form a family. I want to do so many things for myself before I get to this part. I know, you may be saying, but you actually can do many of this stuff while you are in a relationship and you don´t have to sacrifice one thing for the other… well the thing is that I would actually need to find somebody who could fit in my life style…. and that´s a little hard…

    And what is my life style? Well,  I´m working to get a working -nomad-traveling life style, I haven´t got there yet but I´m on my way to do so, that would mean that, at least, this person would have to have that same kind of free spirit… am I wrong? I haven´t met anybody like that in my social environment yet…

    Su just patience, I tell myself, just enjoy the moment that I have, and take advantage of the many things that I can do while I´m in this “loner state”, after all, one has to get the most of every moment in life, right?

    What do you think? Maybe some advice would be nice 🙂

  • How late is it to change paths?

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    Image source: jenifferbarnett.edublogs.org

    Well I studied Industrial Engineering, did a Master degree on Environmental Studies, worked on a couple of companies in the production, planning and logistics area, did some consulting on Quality Management Systems, Good Manufacturing Practices, Industrial Safety. Before that, I worked in the Purchases department of another company, did some work on external trade and even took some courses on Customs regulations in my country. I also worked on project management in a software development company and even occupied a position as “E-commerce sales analyst” ah… and I also sold cars in a car dealer shop.  And I could be going on for a couple more paragraphs on the many things I did and studied in approximately 8 years. I´ve changed jobs so many times that I actually hate to fill in Resumes just because I can´t remember already many things… On the other side, I´ve seen many people who graduated with me from the University getting stable jobs and promotions and now earning good money.

    I also went on the entrepreneur side and I´m still going on it as I like it (and I see it as my main income source). But now I have settled down a little bit, I have managed to find a job that gives me some sort of “peace of conscience”, one job that doesn´t make me want to run away as fast possible from it.  I´m not looking anymore for other job opportunities in the newspaper. I´m ok where I´m, like I mentioned in a previous post, I work in Software Development Company as a Technical Writer. This is completely different from my previous job experience and educational background, but I like it, I actually like the “writer” part more than anything, and I think that I´m on the way to something good and bigger yet, but most important, I´m on the correct path…. I always knew since I was very young that this was the path… but I guess I wasn´t brave enough to look for it… I was too worried thinking on what the family and friends would think… since all the people I knew where studying these complex careers like engineerings and that stuff and getting jobs and working their ass off it…

    So is it too late for this change? Of course not! I´m actually grateful that I´m still young to do this change, I knew deeply that I wanted to this change but I always thought that I was going to do it later, in the future, you know after I got married and raised kids and that regular things that we think is what we must only strive for…

    Of course, I would have liked to have this change before the 8 years or maybe I would have liked to have chosen a different career after school… but I wouldn´t have had the experiences that have allowed me to mature and see things the way I see them now. I can´t go in the past, but I´m lucky to have reached this point in life where I definitely know where I want to head… many people live their lives without knowing it and some of them know it but won´t do anything (for me the saddest thing that could happen).

    So I´m reinventing myself, I don´t care anymore what are my degrees and post-degrees and my previous job experiences were, because none of those things make me happy. What I care is that I have a new chance now I´m willing to go with all for it!

    So how about you? Do you think that it´s too late to change careers or paths? 

  • HOW VIRTUAL CAN OUR EXISTANCE BE?

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    Image source: www.mondolithic.com

    So I came to this topic when I was writing my last blog. I mentioned that it´s good to have at least good Internet contacts that are “more like us” or “believers like us” so that we can feel encouraged to follow our dreams and make them come true. Then I came with a sudden question while I was writing those lines: How virtual can our existence be? I mean for a person like me, a sort of loner on the way, sometimes we tend to look for social “contact” on online communities but even from my loner perspective this has pros and cons.

    So take into account the following:

    1. Online contacts may present themselves differently. Who can assure you that everything that you know from this contact is real? How much can you trust?
    2. We are not always sincere with our online contacts, yes, as they may be disguising themselves, it is also easier for us to disguise just a little bit (even if it´s not intentional), and who is going to know if we lie about something? If we pretend to know or do something that is not real, it is plausible that our contacts in Kazakhstan, Latvia or Mozambique will find the true?…. (Please take into account that the countries just mentioned were just a random example and any coincidence…well it´s just coincidence…  :))
    3. Communication can be totally misinterpreted, when we chat, email or write messages with some virtual friend, no matter the quantity of emoticons we use or how well we think before writing something, there´s always the chance that we could be misinterpreted, or the other way around, maybe we´re reading something in between lines that was never the intention of the sender…
    4. These online contacts or virtual friends may not be able to help us when we have a situation in the physical or real world, they may motivate us or write good encouraging things, but the extent of their help is limited, you know that…Image

    5. So if making friends is not your best attribute (like me 🙂 hence the loner tag..) Then remember, your virtual being with many virtual friends has to have a limit, prudence is the word, because you will never know what the real intentions of others might be…so prudence my dear friends, besides from that, enjoy all you online friends and community, be virtual but not that virtual… 🙂

  • How much should we admire people?

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    Most of us, usually admire somebody either because of their intellect, their charisma, their beauty or their skills. But what is the point in admiring if we’re not going to try to replicate those “things” we admire? And let’s be clear, I’m not talking about imitating others without being ourselves, there is a fine line between copycatting others with no purpose and cultivating in ourselves that we admire in others.

    The difference is simple, we “admire” those things that we would like to have for us, and with “things” I’m referring to values, skills, characteristics, personal features, etc.  So we would usually like those things that are according to our inner selves, to our personality, in other words, to our uniqueness.

    You won’t “admire” a smuggler for getting materials things easily, if you were to admire that smuggler it would mean that you actually admire the characteristic of being a smuggler.  You could also admire a fashion model for its physique but I want to believe that you would admire the fact that he or she manages to have a healthy body and not the fact that the model starves to death to be like that.

    Well anyway, I’m mostly sure that you get what I mean. We admire the good things, the things that make us better; we don’t admire the bad things in other people unless we are “questionable” people.  But the important thing is that each time we admire, it should only be a short “period of admiration” and that’s it, period. Because once we recognize that which we admire, we should perform, we should act. We can’t stay in the “admiration period” forever.  We have to start asking ourselves what do I have to do if I want to improve this or want to be able to do this or that.  The true is that probably the person that we admire also had to cultivate his or her skill from scratch and with a lot of effort.  

    We are meant to achieve whatever we want; there is no limit to our aspirations and dreams.  The sky is our limit and we should never hesitate about this.

    We must look forward to achieve these “things” not because we want somebody else’s approval but because we know we want that change and improvement for us. We don’t improve for others we do it for ourselves. 

    I as a loner believe I have a good sense of direction for this; I seek to change and to improve myself always because of me. I thought about this a lot, and maybe my super independent personality and not allowing people influence me directly (of course unless is something good) is part of the reason that I keep the loneliness.  But like I always say in my posts, I always try to get the good aspects of my loner situation; this doesn’t mean that those of you who are not loners should not find the above written also useful.  

    Finally a very smart quote for everybody:

    “The awe, inspiration and talent you recognize in others are but a reflection of the same thing in you. I highly suggest you do not seek approval or recognition of those you admire but instead cultivate in yourself that which you see in them. There´s a dormant creative genius within you – let them out!” – Jackson Kiddard

    And you, how much of this admiring state let pass by you?  Do you take actions to have the same skills and talent you admire in other people or do you just let the admire feeling let go forever without doing anything?